what you've never owned, should not be denied

2010-01-03T04:06:00.002+08:00

for those who made some resolutions for new year,
thumbs up for you but what can i say?
for me resolutions are bull.
hope to never have to make them,
hope to never entertain thoughts of them cos why?

i don't do it as i meant,
i don't follow what i planned.

i say we do what we wanna do,
be it bad or good,
be it lies or truth,
what's best for me and all of you.

try as you might as you may not succeed
so think before you proceed
regrets are just a waste of time
but don't think everything's fine
cos down the line,
everything's just as screwed up as greed.

peace!

2009-12-06T04:20:00.000+08:00

i may not be his girlfriend,
but i am not a nobody to him.

2009-12-06T03:39:00.000+08:00

the Japanese and Korean culture admiration that many foreigners posess.

2009-10-25T03:17:00.002+08:00

everything is being broken. the shell in which i had shut myself away is cracking up too. the process isn't painless and i can't erase the uncertainty or the confusion but maybe, i can change, even if only a little at a time.

2009-10-24T02:30:00.006+08:00

to work, to become an adult,

is not something easy to explain but what i personally think and understand, i want to put them into action. after finishing school, i've been rejecting jobs all the time whenever i couldn't find what i wanted to do. giving up, i kept quitting without even trying to look at myself. i blamed it on the work that i couldn't find what i wanted to do, even if i worked hard there's no physical difference. so how can i work hard? i couldn't understand that and was irritated but one time, i came up with an idea and everyone listened and the fact that people listen to stuff that even someone like me said made me happy. so for a little longer, i've decided to try after i've settled everything. little by little, rather that just as a part-timer, people will start to see me as an individual. after that, i might start to see how my work would come to shape.

to become an adult, is to be acknowledged by someone. the reason why i am here. others appreciating work that only i can do. that's what it means. in order for that to happen, i have to take responsibility for my work. having that feeling is the difference between adults and children.

my final goal is for my family to be proud of me.

2009-10-23T00:40:00.005+08:00

a happy one second.
if only something like that really existed.
honestly, i didnt really understand then.
but at this moment,
this one second,
one second,
five seconds,
15 seconds,
just a little longer,
i wished it could last a little longer,

loneliness is smuggling yourself into thinking you have to do everything yourself.
so just dont think that rather being by yourself is comfortable and you wont have to share your mistakes.
im a "friend" for travelers, alone.

i wanna ask something.
did i look happy then?

2009-10-16T01:41:00.004+08:00

i'm always the one who's giving others advise. i don't expect anything in return but sometimes its frustrating knowing that i can't share and be open about things that are going on in my life to those whom i share my advise with. i just don't have that kind of people in my life. everyone around me don't wanna listen, they just wanna be listened to. if everyone's like that, who can i open up to? my mind is overcrowded but my words don't spill. im like a blank piece of paper even if my brain's occupied with tons of things. im a walking timebomb. just a matter of time before i explode and without anyone to stop me or put me out.

2009-09-30T03:47:00.003+08:00

yes,
in your eyes im a fuckin loser,
at least im not like some who are all plastic,
non-realistic.
what the hell is up with your character?

unlike you,
im not a beast.
preying on the weak,
like a wild animal released.
no, im not like those wannabes.
or those walking in sky high heels.

2009-09-30T03:47:00.001+08:00

no, the stars can't be seen.
no, the sky's not dark enough.
no, the moon's not showing for me.
no, can't see the sky's marshmellow fluff.

2009-08-21T23:28:00.002+08:00

you were like the nice flavour of the sun.
we were just like day and night.
from the start, there was no way we could be friends.
it was a short dream.
it'd be a good thing if i could forget.

2009-08-16T02:42:00.002+08:00

to comprehend the value of one year,
just ask the students who failed their end of year exams.

to comprehend the value of one month,
just ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

to comprehend the value of one week,
just ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

to comprehend the value of one hour,
just ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

to comprehend the value of one minute,
just ask the people who missed their stop on the bus.

to comprehend the value of one second,
just ask the person who managed to avoid an accident in time.

to comprehend the value of one tenth of a second,
just ask the person who ended up with a silver medal at the Olympics.

the hands of the clock will continue ticking.
therefore, treasure every moment you have,
and treat today as the utmost gift you'll get.
be thankful for each and every ordinary day.
have the courage to live life to the fullest.

-yuuki

2009-08-11T20:32:00.005+08:00

this is what i got from the personality test. hmmm
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-08-02T01:41:00.002+08:00

"My Kind of Boy"

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- i need him to look clean.

2. Smart?
-smart enough to communicate with.

3. Preferred age?
-dun mind but not too young.

4. Preferred height?
- taller than me. duh -.-

5. How about sense of humor?
- very much needed.

6. How about piercings?
- okay i guess.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
-definately.

8. Pink hair?
-hell no.

9. Mushy or no?
-not really, depends on my mood haha.

10. Thin or fat?
- average.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
-its not abt skin color.

12. Long hair or short hair?
- anything that suits him best lor.

13. Plastic or metal?
- raww flesh.

14. Smells good?
- yees

15. Smoker?
-dun mind.

16. Drinker?
- hmmm..

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
- i dunno what type that is.

18. Muscular?
- maybe, maybe not?

19. Plays piano?
- a bonus.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- okok

21. Plays violin?
-another bonus.

22. Sings very good?
-hmm dun mind.

23. Vain?
-cant be more vain than me but im not a much of a vain person so not really.

24. With glasses?
-both good.

25. With braces?
- very cute.

26. Shy type?
- sometimes but not most of the time.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- need to know when and where to be each.

28. Active or passive?
-Active, whats passive?

29. Tight or bomb?
- huhz?

30. Singer or dancer?
- dancer ooohhhh.

31. stunner?
- my kind of stunnnerr.

32. Hiphop?
- sometimes.

33. Earrings?
- this decade still got guys wear earrings meh?

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
- huh dun understand.

35. Dimples?
-if have ok of dun have nvm.

36. Bookworm?
- can read good enough.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- hahaha oldschool.

38. Playful?
- sometimes.

39. Flirt?
-no way.

40. Poem writer?
-not emo ones.

41. Serious?
-seriously no. depends on what he need to be serious in/at.

42. Campus crush?
-wtf?

43. Painter?
- maybe?

44. Religious?
- hmmm..

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
-haha yes cos i like to tease ppl also.

46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- think no one can beat me.

47. Speaks 20 languages?
- wow ksiao!

48. Loyal or faithful?
- both la wahliaoz

49. good kisser?
- am i one?

50. loves children??
-yeeess definately.

2009-06-16T02:25:00.002+08:00

G:how did you drift apart from him?
S:i dont know.
S:how do you think we drifted apart?

S:a while back, you asked me if i confessed to him.
S:i did confess to him.
S:i tightly packed up more than 5 years of fighting with myself, and just once, i mustered some courange, on April Fools Day.
S:believing that if it were destined, my sincerity would be understood, it seemed as if i risked everything.

G:so what happened?

S:i wasn't able to reach that person, my heart that is.
S:the really amazing thing was, after doing that, my heart completely emptied.
S:like the low tide receding.
S:i thought "so, its only to here".
S:the moment i let him go, i felt liberated.
S:like solving a math problem after working on it for a long time.
S:i felt refreshed.

G:and you weren't hurt?

S:because i did everything, without any regrets, it didnt hurt as much as i thought it would.
S:so you too should do everything so that you won't have any regrets.

2009-06-05T02:46:00.001+08:00

i keep repeating a broken melody so i won't forget it.
there is something here that is more important than words.

in this strong wind, there's too much cause for forced laughter.
the fragments of my crooked dreams have been spread apart by the road.
even if we pretend to be cold towards each other,
i have no doubts,
i could sing any song.

so i hid the transparent melody in my heart so that i won't lose it.
back then, the morning sun fell as we were seperated.
the traveling clouds were beautiful that day.
when we parted we left behind the words "see you again"

2009-04-14T03:14:00.001+08:00

i don't really like the word "memory."
why?
no reason.

once i read a story called "What Color Was That Girl's Dress?"

two girls, named A and B are recalling an old story together.
they get into this discussion about a picture hanging on the wall of one of the staircase landings in their elementary school.
a picture of a girl picking flowers in front of a deep red sunset.

A says, "oh! how nostalgic. You're talking about the picture of the girl in a pretty yellow dress, right?"
but then B says, "No, the dress she was wearing was red, just like the sunset!"
"No, it was red!"
"No, it was definately yellow!"
"All right, then why don't we go see for ourselves?"
the two of them, filled with excitement, reached the old nostalgic school building.
"What color was that girl's dress?"

and what color was it?

it didn't have a color.
it was just a black and white picture.
the dress that dark silhouette wore was scribbled completely black.
yet in their memories, both bickering girls were sure that the dress in the picture had a color.

see? human memories are too vague.
thinking something has a color when it doesn't, making things more dramatic than they really are, glorifying things.
it gives new, greater meaning than was actually there.

that's why i don't really believe any of this talk about "beautiful memories."

what do i believe in then?

you, absolutely you.
what's right in front of me now.

but fuck you, for now.

2009-04-02T01:17:00.002+08:00

ah starting to blog again.

for starters,
i confessed but it didn't turn out so well.
just as i expected.
but then,
i wasn't expecting much anyways.
didn't feel how i was supposed to.
ma.. ma.. daijo-bu..

with all that aside!
IM REBORN-ED.
I LOVE KOREAN BOYS!

i'll die an old maid, aloneeeeee! YOSH!!

2008-12-26T02:32:00.002+08:00

as usual, christmas alone again for this year.

on another note,
i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

:(
i dun wanna fuck off

2008-11-17T02:37:00.004+08:00

i love smelling like you and how it lingers,
oh paradise

2008-10-16T02:28:00.002+08:00

two heart breaking moments in 1 day.
how much more can i take?

my heart's feeling all heavy,
empty.
its sinking deeper
than any sea i've been in.

what the fuck was i thinking?

2008-09-25T01:30:00.002+08:00

just as i was about to give up.
how am i suppose to let go?
you keep pulling me back.
i thought you had forgotten about me.
hmm, i dunno.

i know deep down,
i miss you like crazy,
but its taking a toll on me.
i cared too much,
i waited too long,
i've done all i could to make you see.
you're not showing signs,
so i dunno.

I FUCKING DUNNOOOOO ANYMOREEE!
I GIVE UP!

2008-09-16T01:58:00.003+08:00

i dreamt about you a few days back,
we had a marriage contract
written in white and black.

my parents and your parents were in it together,
until you got another marriage proposal.

but in the end i think i got you,
eventhough i had to pay a price for that.
i swear if it all came true,
if i got you,
i wouldn't live this life in regret.

2008-08-29T02:53:00.003+08:00

stop living my life like im in some kind of movie.
love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know?
maybe sometimes it's just a choice.

maybe true love is a decision.
you know? a decision to take a chance with somebody,
to give to somebody
and not worrying whether they'll give anything back
or if they're gonna hurt you
or if they really are the one.

maybe love isn't something that happens to me.
maybe its something that i have to choose.
so what do i do?

true love is a process, not an event
and i need it to progreessss!

ohh my head.

2008-08-26T03:36:00.006+08:00

i'll dream about you.
i will not doubt you, with the passing of time.

2008-08-13T00:53:00.005+08:00

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEE!
THANKS JEN!
THANKS ZAY!

2008-08-11T02:50:00.002+08:00

i sleep and my eyelids droop,
a veil of innocence decends.
misleading mask,
so far from sin,
that no one knows the truth within.

i sigh and with each gentle breath,
my lips seem to be smiling.
beguiling smile,
that seems sincere,
on waking's but A force verneer.

i turn with movements like a child,
a hand outstretched for comfort.
by day that hand will seize and take,
all within reach for its owner's sake.

at dawn hat innocence will go,
with the first flutter of my lids.
on waking,
if i'd retain,
the look that does not search for gain.

2008-07-30T02:24:00.003+08:00

to the one,

im near,
but there's still this distance.
im there,
but im not seen.
i speak,
but of great loneliness.
i exist,
only to be invisible.

2008-07-04T03:38:00.005+08:00

no one here likes you!
go away,
get a clue!
go back to your fucking room,
or where you go to get a snooze!

i dont know why,
i dont like what's in your eyes!
i'd love to slit them wide!
and feed them to a bunch of flies!

i'd rather go to hell!
then shake your hand,
or wish you well!
in case you couldn't tell!

i could pretend.
why can't you understand?
i kinda hate you my friend,
and well,
that is the end!

GOODBYE!

2008-05-27T03:00:00.005+08:00

Love;
if you don't stop for a second, you'll miss it, you'll miss me.

2008-05-05T01:03:00.005+08:00

charge your batteries kids! feel the absence of bitter silence!

2008-04-28T02:21:00.012+08:00

holy cow!
comeback kid wasssss fuckingg awesome!!!
haha im only updating it now -_-
i got their autograph on my shirt and cap!
but i think they destroyed the shirt with their signitures,
but my cap's wonderful!
got to hang out with them for like 20 mins at feroze house!
hell yeahhhhhh!
talked to them and we even shared the same towel!
hahahah im so sick.
we took a group pic but mel and feroze
and alot of others weren't in it.
WAASSSTEDDD!!

COME BACK SOON, COMEBACK KID!

2008-04-24T02:18:00.001+08:00

my heart races, races.
my heartbeat increasing, increasing.
you make me nervous, nervous.
please, oh please looove me.

2008-03-24T03:35:00.001+08:00

you're the best, hands down.

2008-03-06T00:59:00.000+08:00

i'd come to your show just to hear about your day :)

2008-02-14T00:46:00.002+08:00

ahhh!! work=stress!!!
fuckin stresssssseeeddd!!
everyday get scolded from boss!!
aiiyyyaaahhh!!
dont want!! dont want!!
no more!! no more!!
run away!! RUN AWAYY!!!!
*please dont make me order stuffs.

2008-02-13T02:07:00.000+08:00

MANE NAK AJAK!?

2008-02-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

tired tired tired tired tired tired
tired tired tired tired tired tired
tired tired tired tired tired tired
tired tired tired tired tired tired
tired tired tired tired tired tired
tired tired tired tired tired tired

thats all, im going to sleep!
work! work! work! work!

2008-02-06T00:44:00.000+08:00

2nd day of work and i was 2hours late.
my boss asked me to open shop,
but my collegue said no need
and asked me to come at 1.30.

ahhhhhhhhhhh only 2nd day!
so many mistakes!
supposed to open shop at 10!
i woke up at 11.10 and boss called.
i rushed! bathed!
i was out of the house by 11.35.
HOW FAST IS THAT!?

took a taxi and reached esplanade at 12?
HOOWWW FASSSTTTT ISSS THHHAATTT!?
less than an hour to get ready and reach workplace!!
HOWW DDAAAMMMNNN FAASSSTTT ISSSS THHHAATT!??

12pm to 10.30pm=10hr30mins
tired like fuck, but not sleepy.

2008-02-04T01:09:00.000+08:00

how nice issit?
a few hours before my first training day
and im sick.
why pick today out of the 2 months at home?
i've got no appetite to eat,
i think thats good cos i need to lose some weight.
actually, not some.
ALOT! ALOT! ALOT!
i think i cant listen to music anymore.
everytime i do, i get headaches.
WHY??

AND! AND! AND!
we'll be celebrating my small sis bday tmrw too!

"will it rain today?"
"no, but it will tomorrow."

2008-02-03T00:59:00.001+08:00

i think i've found a job.
thank you very much jen for recommending me to your boss.
i hope i dont mess things up.
i'd be good if i get hired.

come and keep me company at the convenient store at esplanade.
the one on the 1st floor.
the one by the doors.
ah, that one.
come come.

2008-01-24T03:23:00.000+08:00

i need some excitement right about now!

2008-01-17T01:05:00.000+08:00

i don't like to be alone.
i don't like keeping quiet
but i can't help it.

i wish for a job.
i wish i could be a useful person even for just a moment.
i wish for lots of things but they don't really come true.
so why wish in the first place?

wishes are for children.
i can't be one anymore.
i have to buck up man.
my life is like a dead line.
I am like a dead line.
it runs and runs but there's no heartbeat.

i'm waiting for someone to knock some sense into me.
now i talking nonsense.
arrggghhhh!

i could write all day long,
but thennnnn.
nevermind.

ok now im looking for jobs on the internet.
byebye

2008-01-03T01:40:00.001+08:00

is it new year or what?
hmmm? hmmmm? hmmmmmmmm?

hello 2008.
im gonna be 19 this year.
is that fuckin old or what?
hmmm? hmmmm? hmmmmmmmm?

application for higher nitec = closed
i didnt apply for anything yet.
"still need permission from my elder sister" crap
its my life,
my education,
my future.
why should she take part in that?
why cant i decide on my own like she did 4 years ago?
im not asking for anyone's money.
i just need a year to save the fees for private school.
a year's not really long.
look how 2007 just flew out my window?
"2007 travelled at the speed of light like in some comic"

well, speaking of 2007
i kind of miss it.
2007 was a pleasant year for me.
all the memories shared among a bunch of friends.
i dont know what's in store for me this 2008.
i hope it'd be good stuff
but i think my good years are those ending with an odd number.
2005? 2007?
hmmm? hmmmm? hmmmmmmmm?
*shrugs*

now, i need a job.
job is in need of me.
so which/what will it be?

2007-12-25T17:45:00.000+08:00

i make damn good corn custard!

so yeah, its Christmas and I'm home alone.
my elder sis is at her Christmas party,
eating huge mouth-watering-$80-turkey,
while i am eating custard.
they're exchanging presents,
while i am what? blogging?
where's the Christmas spirit?
i dont celebrate christmas often.
im not even sure if i have christian friends.
i think i do but heck, i dont even talk to them.

i would love to receive some christmas presents though.
anyone?

hmmm, just as i thought.
no one.
well, merry christmas.

2007-12-19T02:10:00.000+08:00

i need to change.
i need to change my attitude.
i need to change my lifestyle.
i need to change my appearance.
i need to change my food intake.
i need to change my bad habits.
i need to change my fucking weight.

i need to get thinner.
i need to so badly.

im sick and tired of being single. (i think?)
im sick and tired of not getting noticed.
im sick and tired of pretty girls.
i want to be one!

FUCK YOU WORLD!

2007-12-14T23:40:00.001+08:00

have you ever wondered what's it like having no money at all?
i literally have ZERO money left.
absolutely nothing.

ZILCH!

i really need to find a job.
i cant keep sitting at home all day long.
i need to get out of the house.
i am wasting too much time.
that amount of time can be put into good use,
and with that amount of time,
i could probably earn actual money.

school's over.
friends gone, almost forever.
i feel pathetic.
i am useless.
i don't have a backbone.
i am the ultimate negative thinker.
i am no queen.
i am no princess.

I'm like a beggar begging for shelter.
I'm worthless.

new year's approaching.
need to stick to my new year's resolution.
i'd be a better person,
a better friend,
a better family member.

kl

2007-12-11T00:16:00.001+08:00

BACK FROM KL!

girls

2007-11-12T14:36:00.000+08:00

they're all so pretty.
then what the fuck am i?

8th

2007-11-09T15:37:00.000+08:00

my cat died yesterday. :(

SE

2007-10-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

I HAVE NO MORE INTERNET! :(

AND I MISS MY FRIENDS! :(

eddie

2007-09-17T22:24:00.000+08:00

hello everyone.
nobody reads this anyway.
lol.

hmm let's see..
i've been staying home on weekends for the past...
1, 2, 3, 4 weeks!!
hmm one whole month!
new record.
i think i've saved about $20 plus,
if im not wrong.

since its the fasting month,
i've decided to save all my money
and when the fasting month ends,
it'd be hari raye.
so, money from savings + raya money=
ok la, can buy what i want good enough already.

i want to apply for a credit card,
so i can buy stuff online.
Singapore's things are quite boring
and the quality's not as good as i wished i'd be.

i cannot wait for school to end
and get my results.
i hope it'd be good cos i really want to go to higher nitec
so i can go to poly after that!

i want to get a job
and use that money to get car license.
or maybe bike license on the sly.
heheheheheheheheh evil thoughts!

ah about the job.
i need it to be a good one
so i can stick with it until i have the
requirements and certificates
to get a better and more stable job
and that would be the job i'll be doing till i retire.

recently i read a book which was called
"The Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom.
its really a nice book, anybody who's reading this,
you should read the book.
ita about this guy named Eddie, short for Edward.
he was killed while doing his job
and he went to different places
to meet 5 different person who made a difference in his life,
even though he didnt know some of them,
his life and death was connected to each of them.

and so the story goes on.
you have to read it yourself.
the book has a genuine power when you read it.

oh well, this is a very long entry
cos i have not written for a long time.

:)

thh

2007-09-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

i think im living in my own existence.
nobody cares if im there or not.
wishful thinking?
maybe, maybe not.
who cares,
its not like im some big fuck out there.
im not one to be remembered.
i'll say, im a shadow.
creeping around,
through the cracks.
im better off on my own.

toll

2007-08-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

school sucks!
its much too stressful.
especially around these times,
right before the holidays.
so much projects to finish!
i haven't even started on some.
i hate graduating year!
i can't wait to finish school!
December, please come very soon.
i wanna leave this school and never look back.

what's more,
my msn got virus.
like fucking cb!
upset ahhh!!

and i keep falling sick.
i like the rain but please don't make me sick.
i really cannot handle stress and sickness at the same time.
ya, im a weakling when it comes to being sick
and i don't handle stress well.
now i have both,
and it has taken a toll on me.
:(

2007-08-22T00:51:00.000+08:00

i love the coldness.
it's like the winter Singapore never had.
it's like a feeling, a good one perhaps.
it's like a lovely presence when it brushes,
against my pale skin.

i never want the coldness to go away.

stalker

2007-08-16T00:18:00.000+08:00

i have an ex boyfriend
who sends me mushy messages
which rhymes,
and calls me baby.
i find it really scary.
please stop.
it makes me sick.
its disgusting.
please go away.

i should really change my number.
fucking stalker.

singfest bull!

2007-08-11T02:32:00.000+08:00

WAHH FUCKKK WASTEDDD!!

i am very very ultra sad!!!
cos my friends went to singfest!
not only that,
THEY WENT IN FOR FREE LAA SIAAA!!!
and i was at home,
watching the stupid national day parade.

FUCKK WASTED LIKE FUCK LA HAIII!!

goodbye mike,
goodbye mxpx,
goodbye academy is,
goodbye cobra starship,
and especially....
GOODBYE GYM CLASS HEROES!
bye travis, drummer, bassist, and guitarist.
i guess i'll meet you guys in my dreams.
see you later!
FUCK!
:(

ssd

2007-08-07T23:22:00.000+08:00

hahah today is a happy day
cos i got 100% for my test
but then tcher will suspect
that im cheating
so not so really happy day.
turns out to be a sad sad day.
FUCK YOU!
hahaha! _|_

oh ya, baybeats sucked!
booooooooo~

jutg

2007-07-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

if we want to see a better day,
we'll find a way!
nobody can take away
the strength that we have!
-set it straight

a day to remember!

2007-07-27T00:34:00.000+08:00

yesterday, on the 25th july,
my friends and i went out.
i was going to pay my fine at Outrum
but it was too early cos class ended around 11.
so my friends decided to accompany me there
cos they didnt want to go home early.

we took a bus to cityhall cos it was raining
and cos i needed to top up my ezlink card
but we ended up going to marina square.
we had breakfast/lunch at pizza hut.
hmmmm yum yumm!

after that we walked around and it was freezing.
i kept going to the toilet cos of the temperature.
we were freezing our asses off!
then around 2 plus,
we headed to cityhall mrt to catch a train to outrum.

i paid my fine and we walked back to the mrt station.
i had to go to the toilet again but couldnt find any at the mrt station
so i decided to walk around the area to find one
while my friends waited for me at the station.

i walked around and saw a "shopping center"
so i went in to look for a toilet.
after using the toilet, i got out of the "shopping center"
and made my way back to the mrt station.
i saw an mrt entrance nearby which wrote east/west line and nel line.
since it was raining i decided to take that route
thinking i could get through to outrum station faster.
i walked and walked and walked for a long time.
the place was quite deserted
and at one point of time, i found myself alone.
there wasnt any body else.
my friend called me and asked why i was taking a long time to get back.
i told her im coming and that im reaching cos
i saw an exit and thought it was the right one.
so i happily went up the escalator.

to my surprise, it wasnt the exit that i thought it was!
hahah I WAS LOST! i didnt know where i was.
i didnt want to go back underground
cos i'd probably lose my way again.
i panicked for a while and started walking again.
i was really lost so i called my friend.

Conversation [while i was walking to find the outrum station]
lydia:hello
me:ehhh lydia!! aku sesat!!! hahaha!!
lydia:huh? hahaha! mane kau?? kau sesat kat mane??
me:-_- aku tak tau aku kat mane! aku sesat! aku masok underpass abeh tembos tak tau mane!
lydia:hahahahah!ahahahahaha! siak ah kau! sabar sabar!

then lydia passed the phone to hanisah.
nisa:hello ahh kau sesat? hahahah!!
me:ak ahh laa! hahahaha.
nisa:hahahah! kat mane kau ni?!!?
me:aku tak tau laaa!
nisa:hahahahahahhah!!!
me:hahahahahha!
[and more hahaha-s]
me:EH!! EH!! KK AKU DAH TAU HAHAAHH!!!

we hung up.

i saw them from far.
they were laughing their heads off at me.
hahahahahah!!
i giggled so hard while walking that the people passing me thought i was mad.
hahahah! they laughed at me!
i was smilling and giggling so much!
i was a craaazyy girl in their eyes!
ccchiibbaii!!

i feel like a foreigner in my own country.
i feel stupid. hahahaha shut up.

5652

2007-07-24T22:31:00.001+08:00

I LOVE THE WEATHER!!
its perfect.

ewd

2007-07-23T23:19:00.001+08:00

im letting my love go,
cos its useless holding on to something or someone,
when i know its just not going to happen.
at least not to me.

iyg

2007-07-21T02:04:00.000+08:00

those kids are laughing at me,
and i need some company.

sister

2007-07-19T02:08:00.000+08:00

i have a very vain 10 yr old younger sister,
who spends her time infront of the mirror,
for hours and hours,
doing her stupid hair,
which irritates the hell out of me!

when did she grow up?
how come i missed it?

somehow rather,
i missed the old her.

rrf

2007-07-12T23:28:00.000+08:00

i love,

hearts

2007-07-06T03:12:00.000+08:00

i keep trying,
but i can't seem to reach your heart anymore.
so, i surrender.

DD

2007-07-04T03:11:00.001+08:00

IM IN BIG FUCKIN' TROUBLE!
THE BIGGEST TROUBLE IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE.
HMMMMMMMMMM...

2007-06-29T00:37:00.000+08:00

i hate staying at home cos i have to do chores.
i hate doing chores cos im the only one who does chores.
i hate that im the only one doing chores cos my elder sister certainly wont do chores.
i hate my elder sister for not doing chores cos as you know she's the oldest and supposed to be doing chores.
i hate it when she lies on the bed and doesnt even bother to make it after messing it up.
i hate it when she's not working cos she just wont do anything at home except hanging out in her room.
i hate it when she's not working cos she'll be in her room with the doors closed and avoiding all humans in the house and neglecting all things that she has to do.
argh darn.
oh well, thats "home life" for me!

hij

2007-06-19T01:02:00.000+08:00

hello school,
please give students jobs during holidays.
student idiotship or something.
oopps, i mean internship.
LOL
[tak kelaka, lame]

love

2007-06-17T00:56:00.000+08:00

unrequited love affair
_|_

southpark!

2007-06-15T02:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm 8 hrs of south park everyday.
>_<

holidays at home sucks ass!

my kitchen caught fire just now for about 4 secs.
i had forgotten about the oil
being heated up to fry stuffs.
kitchen started to fill up with smoke.
and the oil caught fire.
I = STUPID!
put the burning pan in sink and threw water on it.
woooahh biggest mistake!
the fire became bigger and started
to burst into big flames.
u know like explosions shaped flames?
or u know the chefs at restaurants?
the way they cook?
the big flames burst when
they put something in their cooking?
something like that.
like magic potions gone wrong POOFS?
ah i think u got the idea.
ahh that type.
scared the shit out of me.
thank god nobody was home.
smoky & burnt kitchen = trouble!
i never want to fry anything ever again!

then back to more south park.
woohooo!!

waiting for tonight!
wooaah oohh ohhhh!

fvs v

2007-06-10T02:15:00.000+08:00

hi, tonight im alone.
just like yesterday.
tired but cant sleep.
hungry but eaten already.
bored with the comp.
nothing else to do.
psp is boring too.

so, how lonely are you?

HEY FRIEND!

2007-06-06T00:01:00.001+08:00

HEY!

TODAY,
I'VE GOT 2 NEW SHIRTS FROM MY ELDER SIS
AS A BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
IM QUITE HAPPY BUT I DONT LIKE TO SHOW
MY SISTER THAT I AM
cos then she'll be NICE TO ME!
BUT THANK YOU, AND ADAM TOO!

and today im reminded
that you still havent called me since my bday.
(i cant possibly call cos you know you're uncontactable)
don't know whether u know this but
im really angry and disappointed,
maybe REALLY MAD.

but then i realised something,
i just cant be bothered anymore.
cos im not as important as
your "better half" or the others
in your life as i used to be.
(or maybe not)
SO WHY SHOULD YOU?
im not losing anything i guess,
cos i have better friends than you'll ever be.
they make me happy,
like azri always say,
friends are like family
and trust is blood.
hmmmmmmmmmm,
i love my friends,
just maybe not you.

AND MY MSN JUST SIGNED OUT AND BACK IN BY ITSELF.

zdf

2007-06-05T00:17:00.000+08:00

a few days ago, i realised something.
i cannot carry heavy stuff on my right side anymore.
my right arm's weak.

scary, but true.
HAHA
like ghost story.
-.-

sxcs

2007-05-30T21:06:00.000+08:00

when it's over,
thats the time i fall in love again.
-sugar ray

SOIA

2007-05-27T00:36:00.001+08:00

SOIA was fucking awesome!!
it was worth spending 50 bucks,
a good way to spend time with closest friends!

and i cannot move my arm.

sssssssssss

2007-05-25T13:36:00.000+08:00

SICK OF IT ALL'S TODAY, BITCHESSS!!!

fight

2007-05-23T23:19:00.000+08:00

i hate it when my parents fight!

ezd

2007-05-22T01:10:00.001+08:00

nothing's different.

18

2007-05-20T16:33:00.000+08:00

the best gig i've been to this year!
midnight madness was actually not midnight but yeah!
great!

thank you to everyone who wished me happy bday
but somehow rather,
turning 18 is bad luck for me.
hahahahaaaa
shut up.

ytgv

2007-05-16T00:06:00.000+08:00

i hate doing laundry.

oooooh, 4 more days
but then again,
what's so special about being 18?
i'll still be jobless,
still have the same amount of freedom,
still be the same.
so i guess 18's not that special after all.
[except being legal -.-]

high sch

2007-05-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

the same high school shit!

LOL

2007-05-03T23:14:00.000+08:00

woo! my small sis's going to malacca from friday till sunday!
im freeeeee!!!!!! yes yes yes yes!!
i can go out anytime i want!
any day i want!
AND, go home anytime i want!!
woo!!
SAPE MAU LEPAK??
ton skali pon boleh!
set?set? SET?
:D

:D

2007-05-03T01:20:00.000+08:00

I R THY FINGER MONSTERRR!
(i'm like this in sch -_-)

dMN

2007-04-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

why are weekends shorter than weekdays?
damn

heh

2007-04-15T00:15:00.000+08:00

i like dinosaurs,
other than that,
i want to show you how boring my neighbourhood is.

we're all the same

2007-04-04T00:22:00.000+08:00

currently there's
not much difference,
and too much alike.

sad

2007-03-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

i really miss the old times when it was still 2005.
bring them back, bring all of them back!

i hate my sister

2007-03-18T15:15:00.000+08:00

how i wish my sister wasnt 10 but 15.
please please please grow up faster, damnit.
get old already.
im 18 and still stuck in this house
with no freedom, not working.
i dont know anyone who's 18 and not working
and have no rights to go out whenever he/she wants to.
I HATE HAAATEEEEE HATEEEEE my sister.
why must our age difference be so bigggg.
i feel like running away laaa.
wah sad :(

hell has no fury

2007-03-13T15:13:00.000+08:00

sesame seed assult's damn goooooood!!!

anyho,
im fuckin broke.
finished all my savings on the 4th.
that's the first time i spent 60 bucks with no regrets.
can't say that im happy, sad or glad.
its neither, nil.

sch has been a pain in the ass.
did suprisingly well in the 1st test but didnt manage to do the same in the 2nd.
oh, oh, oh!
can't wait for the holidays, which is in 1, 2, 3, 4 ..........10 days!

i feel like traveling.
perhaps go to johor or something.
(like real can go)
and bring some friends along!

couldn't go to hardcore fest last weekend.
soooo saaaddd.
heard it was gooodd.
god, my life sucks.

ok bye.

what if?

2007-02-08T00:20:00.001+08:00

what if birds couldn't fly?
what if the sky wasn't high?

what if there wasn't any gravity?
we'd all be floating freely.

what if we didn't have any feelings?
then nobody would be flirting.

what if tress weren't green?
what if everybody turned mean?

and finally, i couldn't resist,
what if i didn't exist?

0

2007-01-17T23:16:00.000+08:00

i dreamt i was dying as i so often do,
and when i awoke i was sure it was true.
i ran to my window, threw my head to the sky,
and said whoever is up there,
please don't let me die.

meeey new year!

2007-01-02T23:16:00.000+08:00

merry new year! a day late.
:D

is this us?

2006-11-19T23:34:00.000+08:00

why do people take everything so personally?
why do people like to say things that aren't necessary?
why are some people 2 faced?
why do some people have 2 different personalities,
one infront of others and one when nobody's looking?
who do people do that?
is it fun?
is this us?

you're not what you have.

2006-11-04T22:13:00.001+08:00

you're not your job.
you're not how much money you have in your wallet.
you're not the car you drive.
you're not the contents of your wallet.
you're not special.

you're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
you're the all-singing, all-dancing fucking crap of the world,
and we're all part of the same compost heap.

learnt

2006-10-29T23:08:00.000+08:00

the lesson or principle contained in or taught by a fable,
is based on strong likelihood or firm conviction,
rather than on the actual evidence.

john shaun

2006-10-28T23:01:00.000+08:00

john shaun was blonde and didn't care at all.
lol.
now here's what i did today. i watched the 1st season of oc on dvd. that's pretty much it.

and i've been thinking. i wanna live in a house which has a basement. like the 70's show man!!

i'm pretty mssed up in my head right now and maybe yesterday too. i think i scared the shit out of ariff last night. maybe i was high, maybe i was not. cos if someone's high, wld they be able to remember what happened on the previous day? im not sure, that's why im asking.
but i know nobody's reading, so i guess there'll be no answers to my lame qn.

i really think i shld lose some weight. maybe not some, maybe a lot. i need to get thin by next raye so that i won't be mistaken for being the oldest one. so that leaves me like, a whole year to do so. need to cut back on food. no, not food cos i love it. just the junky ones and more
veggies = good. maybe i shld be a vegetarian or something since i don't take much meat unless its chicken cos i love chicken, BUT I HAVE LOW BLOOD PRESSURE. maybe i shld stop eating rice cos i eat that like every 6 hrs? im not sure but i think i do. plus rice is so fattening.
gosh, i didnt realise that im eating so much in a day until i write it down.

_|_

2006-10-25T15:51:00.000+08:00

screw the 1st day of raye.
it was such a disaster,
cos father was a fucking jerk.

2006-10-18T21:39:00.000+08:00

now i know why some people love to watch korean dramas.
i wanna buy or at least rent the dvds for the korean drama
which is showing on channel U at 7pm from mondays to fridays.

hahahahahahahaha.
shut up.

holidays

2006-10-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

school holidays are gonna be fucking over soon.
oh, glory glory glory!
soon, there'll be
no more feeling fucking empty at home.
no more fucking laundry days.
no more fucking cleaning here and there.
one thing im gonna miss is,
sitting on my ass,
watching dvds all day long.

i'm officially a school freak.
fucking yeah!

*watched too much dvds with vulgarities.

haham

2006-10-08T16:41:00.000+08:00

curtains are important cos without it,
i have to stare at my younger sisters' face
until she falls asleep.
not while lying down or sitting,
but while standing cos the bed's two level high
and she's on the second level.

and oh,
i dreamt that i was stabbed 4 times,
at 4 different timings,
by the same mad man.